


(In)Conveniently Invisible

by Redring91



Series: Dead Dwarf Peanut Gallery [3]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 20:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1871724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redring91/pseuds/Redring91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, being a disembodied spirit with the ability to drop in unannounced and unobserved on the living can be…problematic.</p><p>But surely you don’t have to feel too embarrassed about forgetting that…right?</p><p> </p><p>For Determamfidd – Inspired by the Masterpiece that is Sansûkh</p>
            </blockquote>





	(In)Conveniently Invisible

**Author's Note:**

  * For [determamfidd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/determamfidd/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Sansûkh](https://archiveofourown.org/works/855528) by [determamfidd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/determamfidd/pseuds/determamfidd). 



> -
> 
> A small gift for Dets, in honour of the aforementioned Masterpiece.
> 
> (And for all the Sansûkh fans who keep re-reading the current material, as we await the return of the Great Dets from Much More Important Real Life Stuff: proof that we can be patient.)
> 
> Special shout out to mage_girl: Not the Ori Revenge skit you wanted (yet), but my plot-warg got hold of this idea and all my other plot bunnies fled immediately. Hopefully this satisfies you in the meantime.
> 
> Set rather early in ‘we’ve been dead for this many years’ count.
> 
> \---

\-- (In)Conveniently Invisible --

\---

Kíli / Fíli – [emerge from the starlight onto a training ground]

Random Dwarrowdam – [spins axe around with savage war cry]

Kíli – [swears, instinctively reaching for a sword that isn’t there]

Random Dwarrowdam – [throws axe in direction of Kíli’s head]

Kíli – [screams – a very high pitched scream – and ducks]

[Axe sails through air and embeds itself in the opposite wall]

Kíli – Watch it! 

Random Dwarrowdam – [stomps over to retrieve axe]

Kíli – Oi! You almost took my head off! [grows outraged at being ignored] Aren’t you even going to apologise?! You could have killed me!

Fíli – Kíli. We’re already dead, remember? She can’t hear you.

Kíli – Oh. [beat] Yeah. [another beat] Well, never mind then.

Fíli – [starts laughing]

-

Kíli / Fíli – [stride down the corridor]

Kíli – [fumes] It wasn’t THAT funny! 

Fíli – Did you hear yourself scream? [laughs] And the look on your face when she – 

Random Dwarf – [suddenly walks around corner, arms laden with weapons]

Fíli – [reflexively leaps back out of the way so they won’t collide, but somehow trips over his own feet in the process and lands sprawled on the floor in an undignified heap]

Random Dwarf – [continues walking, obliviously stepping through Fíli]

Kíli – [looks down at his brother] Fee…? [Lips twitch]

Fíli – [scowls. Not as impressively as his uncle, but still respectably in his own right] Shut up.

Kíli – [laughs anyway]

-

Thorin – [emerges from the starlight. And promptly freezes]

Bilbo – [hums lazily] ~Sweet is the sound of falling rain, and the brook that leaps from hill to plain;~

Thorin – [swallows. Turns red. (A majestic shade of red, but undeniably VERY red.) Only acceptable response, because his hobbit is most undeniably having a bath] Durin’s beard.

Bilbo – [begins to quite meticulously wash his hair] ~But better than rain or rippling streams is Water Hot that smokes and steams.~

Thorin – [whimpers. In a very UN-majestic fashion. Because. His HAIR.]

Bilbo – ~O! Water cold…~ [trails off, but continues to hum tune. Still running his fingers through his hair.]

Thorin – [………]

-

Frerin – [eyes rather embarrassed nephews and brother with amusement] Sooo, did everyone enjoy their trip today?

Kíli / Fíli – [groan softly in unison]

Frerin – [grins unashamedly] Forgot you were intangible and invisible, did you?

Fíli – Can’t you just forget what you heard me and Kíli saying about it?

Frerin – [pretends to consider] Will you call me ‘uncle?’

Kíli / Fíli – No.

Frerin – Then no.

Kíli – [wails and tugs on his hair]

Frerin – Don’t worry boys, everyone forgets now and then. Besides, you two weren’t even mortified; trust me, it could have been much, much worse. Once my ‘amad walked in on YOUR mother and father while they were – 

Kíli / Fíli – [both make alarmed noises of panic that clearly translate to ‘I-Don’t-Want-To-Know!’]

Frerin – [continues] – braiding each other’s hair. [looks innocently at them] What did you think I was going to say?

Fíli – [thumps head onto tabletop]

Kíli – [mutters quietly about not appreciating how difficult being invisible around everyone else actually was and vows to make amends to a certain Burglar for assumptions to the contrary]

Thorin – [makes a strangled noise at the mention of the Burglar]

Frerin – You okay, nadad? [turns his innocent smile onto Thorin] You’ve been very quiet. Anything you want to share? [pause] How is your Bilbo today?

Thorin – [Glare of Doom is visible behind the curtain of hair. As is his still-red face]

Frerin – [grins wickedly]

\---

**Author's Note:**

> \---
> 
> Let’s face it; unintentional voyeurism would be an occupational hazard for the dead spirits of dwarves popping in to see their loved ones. 
> 
> Am I sorry for Thorin? *cackles* Nope! (You can decide whether he fled or stayed…) 
> 
> Amad – mother  
> Nadad – brother
> 
> Bilbo’s bath song is from The Fellowship of The Ring. All other things inspired by Sansûkh.


End file.
